


Alternate Universes

by eiluned



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1920s, Alternate Universe - 1940s, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Ballroom Dancing, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Noir, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Alternate Universe - Western, Avatar the Last Airbender AU, Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Grease AU, Halloween, Hogwarts AU, Lord Of The Rings AU, Star Trek AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 08:44:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eiluned/pseuds/eiluned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of AU three sentence fics written for requesters on my Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clint/Natasha; Lord of the Rings

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my Tumblr in September 2012. Ratings vary from General to Explicit. Each chapter title is the prompt for that specific drabble.
> 
> I'm leaving this unfinished because hey, these were a lot of fun to write! I may just write more. :D

They stood back to back in the midst of the battlefield, the Northern ranger and the Elven warrior, because together they were strong; they were a deadly force against the hordes of Mordor. Her blades flashed in the sunlight, stained black with Orc blood, and arrows flew from his bow like a deadly rain, felling enemies as they charged.

Though he had the long life of the Dúnedain, he did not have the immortality of the Eldar; she would gladly forsake the green land of Valinor and die at his side, for a love so true and pure had not been seen since Lúthien and Beren passed from this Middle Earth.


	2. Clintasha as Hollywood Celebrities

They met for the first time at a party in Hollywood, the sultry Russian-born beauty and the Iowa boy who got lucky, and as the cliché goes, sparks flew. A couple of vodkas later, they were locked in a bathroom, his pants around his ankles and her skirt around her waist, lips fused together, hands groping unfamiliar flesh, fucking with a condom pilfered from whoever-the-fuck-owned-this-house’s stash in the medicine cabinet.

She left the bathroom first, adjusting her dress and touching up her lip gloss before giving him a sly smirk in the mirror; when he left a few minutes later, he put a hand in his pocket and found a scrap of paper scrawled with her phone number.


	3. Steve/Natasha in a Sleeping Beauty AU

He slept in the ice for so long, so long that few remembered the legend and no one remembered where his icy bower was hidden in the frozen north.

She journeyed through the snow and wind at the behest of her lord, for he wanted the sleeping hero awakened; war was brewing on her lord’s borders, and the sleeping hero could turn the tide of the coming war.

Her touch melted the ice, and her lips warmed his cold flesh; he opened his eyes.


	4. Clintasha Prostitution AU

There’s this stupid idea that lingers in the minds of some prostitutes, thanks to Julia Fucking Roberts and that goddamn movie, that a rich client will fall in love and sweep them off of their feet, get them away from whatever made them start selling their bodies in the first place; Clint was no stranger to that fantasy, but he never expected it to actually happen.

Natasha was wealthy and beautiful and cold at first, but she opened up to him slowly, and he fell for her even though he knew it was a terrible fucking idea for a gigolo to fall in love with a client; she took him to Central Park, and they sat on the grass, and she whispered that she loved him.

He pinched himself because this had to be a dream.


	5. Clintasha, Bonnie & Clyde Style

“You and me, baby,” Natasha purred, rocking in Clint’s lap and drawing the cold iron of a gun barrel down the side of his face. “We’re gonna take over the world, you and me.”

He pushed her skirt up around her waist and she tugged his trousers down, and they fucked in the front seat of the stolen Ford on the side of the road in Bienville Parish, Louisiana; afterward, she stole a drag off his cigarette and whispered that she loved him, and he rumbled it back, grinning at her.

The next morning, they went down in a hail of gunfire on another Bienville Parish road; she screamed when he took a shot to the head, but she died before she could mourn losing the world.


	6. Clint/Natasha in the Avatar: The Last Airbender universe

She snapped open her deadly fans and stepped through the kata again, slowly for his benefit, and that rankled him a little bit; he was a fighter, after all, and he outweighed her by at least fifty pounds, so he could easily take her down whether he followed her stupid kata or not.

He stepped in close to try to catch her off balance, but he suddenly found himself on his back in the middle of the floor, staring up at the ceiling and gasping for breath.

“Nice try,” she said, leaning over him with a sly grin, “But you’re not going to catch a Kyoshi Warrior off guard like that.”


	7. Clint and Natasha on a pirate ship

Clint Barton was nobody’s prize, just the youngest son of a disgraced marquis trying to make his way from England to Jamaica to start a new life, but here he was, trussed up on the deck of the Red Room, the most feared pirate ship in all of the Caribbean.

A woman came out of the captain’s cabin like a force of nature, like the hurricane that had nearly taken down Clint’s ship on the crossing from England; she wore men’s clothing and had a cutlass strapped to her hip and a flintlock pistol tucked into her belt, her gloriously red hair tied into a loose plait and a tricorne with a fine feather atop her head, and she was singlehandedly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“Welcome aboard the Red Room, Lord Barton,” she said, her voice a low purr that still carried over the crash of the ship through the waves, and his breath left him in a rush. “I am the Black Widow.”


	8. Natasha, Darcy, and Jane as the Pink Ladies

“Look at me, I’m Captain Steve! Lousy with virginity!” Natasha sang into her hairbrush, swishing her blond wig around to peals of laughter from Jane and Darcy.

“You making fun of me, Nat?” said a hurt voice from the doorway; Steve stood there with his hand on the doorknob for a moment, cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment, before turning and running down the hall.

“Some people are so touchy,” Natasha said, tugging the wig off of her head and lighting a cigarette.


	9. Clintasha ballet

The Cirque de la Lune wasn’t the Moscow Ballet, but it wasn’t too bad a place for a disgraced ballerina to end up in the greater scheme of things.

Natasha rose from a crouch into a graceful arabesque, and her performance partner, Clint, swept downward on a long trapeze, carefully catching her under her outstretched leg and around her waist, lifting her into the air.

They had practiced this move countless times, and as he shifted his grip, she let her body slip downward so that the long hair of her wig swept the ground as they swung back; when he pulled her up to face him, her legs looped around his hips, he grinned at her, and she realized that maybe she didn’t miss the Moscow Ballet all that much.


	10. Science Bros on the USS Enterprise

“I need more power, Banner, or we’re going to get sucked into that black hole!”

“I’m giving her all she’s got, Captain!” Lt. Commander Banner shouted into the comm, and Lt. Commander Stark took a careful step away from his fellow engineer.

Getting sucked into a black hole was nasty and everything, but Stark would almost rather deal with that than Banner when he got angry at the engine, particularly after the accident with the gamma radiation and the unshielded warp core; Stark rerouted power from the deflector shields to the engines and hoped that would be enough to keep his buddy from turning into a rage monster.


	11. Clintasha on the USS Enterprise

Security details on the Enterprise were typically run-of-the-mill and boring; you guard the entrance to Engineering so the new Starfleet grads who’d had a little too much Romulan ale wouldn’t go blundering in and break the dilithium crystals, that kind of thing.

But the Klingon ambassador was on board, and that made Lieutenant Romanoff’s job a lot more interesting; the meeting with the Federation president was a tense one, and it was her duty to make sure that the ambassador a) didn’t get pissed and kill the president, and b) didn’t end up dead because of some speciesist moron assassin.

On the other side of the conference room, she caught Lieutenant Barton’s eye, and he gave her a subtle nod that meant all was well on his side of the room; he had eyes like a hawk, and she knew with him there, they’d at least have a fighting chance of stopping trouble before it even started.


	12. Strictly Ballroom

“Make me thrill as only you know how, sway me smooth, sway me now,” Dean Martin crooned over the PA system, and Natasha could see the performing couple going through their motions on the competition floor through a gap in the velvet curtains.

Clint caught her hand and pulled her into a clinch that was much closer than a rumba would usually call for, but his hand was warm on the bare skin of her back, and they moved together so very, very well.

When he gave her a tiny, private smile, the corners of his eyes crinkled, and as he swept her through a spin and pulled her against his swaying hips, she realized with a thrill that she had fallen in love with her partner.


	13. Clintasha in the 40s

She sauntered into his ratty little office in a haze of cigarette smoke and Chanel perfume, red hair cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall of blood; she was far too classy a dame to come in here looking to talk to a rough-and-tumble gumshoe like Clint Barton just for kicks.

“Can I help you, miss?” he asked as she sat in the chair in front of his desk; there was a slit in her skirt, and when she crossed those gorgeous gams, he caught a glimpse of a red hourglass tattooed onto the white skin of her thigh.

It’s the goddamn Black Widow, he thought, shifting his left hand just enough to caress the butt of the Colt revolver hidden under his desk; her red lips curved in a deadly smile.


	14. Clintasha, Wild West AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in Amanda's as-yet-unfinished Wild West AU.

“Back again, Sheriff Barton?” she purred, flicking open a black feathered fan and waving it lazily.

His eyes traveled over her, from the messy pile of red curls atop her head over her pale, ample cleavage barely contained by a blood red corset, his gaze lingering on the hint of shapely legs through the thin material of her petticoats.

“You know I can’t stay away from you, Miss Natasha,” he said, his voice a rumble; he trapped her against the wall with his arms on either side of her head, and it made him feel like the luckiest sonofabitch in California when she melted into his kiss.


	15. Clint & Tasha, Hogwarts AU

“I thought good little Gryffindors didn’t sneak out of their dorms at midnight to meet naughty Slytherin girls in empty classrooms.”

Her red hair glinted in the moonlight, and in the gloom he could see the amused curl of her lips that never failed to make his heart pound. ”Well, I’m not exactly good and you’re not exactly naughty,” he replied, pulling her into a kiss that made her sigh, “but I think we both enjoy breaking the rules now and then.”


	16. Clintasha, Halloween

“You don’t really expect me to wear this, do you?” Clint said, eyeing the costume with ill-disguised disdain.

“Yes,” she said, donning her gold bracelets and making sure the spangled hotpants covered her ass. “You were the one who suggested the costume party, and you were the one who insisted that I dress up as Wonder Woman, so you have to put on the damn Green Arrow costume. Suit up, Robin Hood.”


End file.
